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wild_force71 in the_uninitiated

As I'm currently stuck on other projects, How to Stop an Exploding Man is temporarily delayed...I should have it up by next week. In the meantime, here's the prologue and first chapter of Time of the Reaper, the book I was considering doing next, so as I can get your opinion. The style's slightly different, there's almost no description, so let me know what you think, please!

Time of the Reaper

Six years ago

TRAVIS’ ‘Uncle Phil’: Your father, who was a policeman, has been killed.

10 year old TRAVIS: Well, that sucks. I know! I will emulate him in every way!

The ghost of TRAVIS’ father: Good men have to fight, or bad men will win.

TRAVIS’ psyche: (Is scarred)

Six days ago

Some military guy: So a strange object has fallen from the sky, coincidentally near a base we have here in the Gulf.

Some military leader: Hmmph!

Some military pilot: We’ve landed, but this sandstorm will prevent us taking off again.

Some military guy: We’re British soldiers heading into a camp that mysteriously fell out of contact just after an object fell from the sky. What could possibly go wrong?

Some military leader: Well, everyone here is dead. I know! How about I attempt to retreat, thereby spreading the disease which has killed them all, killed all my men in the five minutes we’ve been here, and I am now showing symptoms of?

Some dead military pilot: How about no, jackass.

Some military leader: (Dies)

Present day

TRAVIS: Hey, Jess. Thanks for inviting me to our party. Here’s your present.

JESS: Oooh, what’d you get me?

TRAVIS: Chocolates. We’re poor.

JESS: That’s ok, I’m rich. You can pretend for the evening.

TRAVIS: Great. Wanna do some name checking?

JESS: Absolutely. There’s MEL, your Goth best friend.

MEL: (Goths)

JESS: SIMON, who is a nerd, is hiding in the kitchen.

TRAVIS: We should be nicer to him.

JESS: Uh huh, let me know how that works out for you. And RITCHIE, the bully, is due any minute to make a scene.

TRAVIS: Awesome. I’m gonna go sit with Mel and do some foreshadowing, ok?

JESS: No talking about anything depressing at my party! (Twitches)

TRAVIS: (To MEL) So, anyone you know died of this flu thing yet? Father still beating you up? Want me to go yell at him?


Some Guy: My girlfriend’s dad has it.

Some Girl: My friend’s parents both have it.

MEL: Trust adults to let something like this happen. They should put kids in charge. That’d be better.

JESS: What did I just say? Everyone dance now.

TRAVIS: (To JESS) You ok?

JESS: I just hate it when things change.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that is upsetting. I’m gonna go dance with Mel now. Unless that’d be too upsetting for you.

JESS: (Hits him)

TRAVIS: (To MEL) So how’s your dad?

MEL: Just leave it alone, Travis, ok? Promise?

TRAVIS: Sure, I promise. I won't go and talk to him.

RITCHIE: Time for my scene! Grr! (Trashes things, is a nuisance)

TRAVIS: Oh, get out, Ritchie.

RITCHIE: Who’s gonna make me?

TRAVIS: Apparently not any of my fellow guests. But I will stand up to you in memory of my dead father. Also Jess’s parents have just come home.

RITCHIE: Uh…you suck! (Runs for it)

JESS’s parents: (Are oblivious)


giggle. that was fun! I'd love to see more of these!
Thanks, tulz! Unfortunately you seem to be in a minority...I'm still keeping it in mind, we'll see what happens.